Letters To Dead
by GreekyGirl
Summary: I'm so mad at you, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving you. I mean, you're dead. Of course I miss you.


Dear Luke,

If I could, I would leave a silence in this letter that I'm sure you'd understand.

But I don't... I don't know what happened.  
To you.. am I not an equal anymore?  
Am I just another piece in this sick game of yours?

Do you know what it's like to be told your best friend is dead? I woke up. I woke up, and I saw her, I asked her, "Where's Luke?"  
And then, I saw a look on her face. Actually, it wasn't a look. It was several expressions at once. Mainly pain. Partly love. She loves you. And your blind. Running over a promise like it was nothing. You broke her heart, and you know that? You broke mine, too. After everything I told you, after everything we'd been through. At least I had died fighting. You.. you gave yourself away.

She told me, her face darkened and she said, "Luke... He..." And that's all she could squeeze out.  
The black-haired kid is the one who told me, later in the Big House, with a hard look on his face. A betrayed look. What did you do, Luke? How could you be so cruel as to break the innocence of twelve-year-old kids? My gods. Oh. My gods.

I could tell this act against him, by _you_, didn't cut him as deeply as your treachery, trickery shit cut Annabeth, but there was still... still something. His fists tightened and he looked at the ground. I could hear his teeth grinding together, practically.

And then, it all spilled out. You were alive. Oh, yes. You were very,very alive to everyone else, but the moment Percy stopped talking, I knew. You were dead to me.

"He said... he said, if you were alive you'd join his cause." And suddenly I understood their frightened faces, peering over me as my eyes had shot open. I understood the stony expression on Percy's face, and the distraught one on Annabeth's. They thought I'd go to the dark side, just because they had cookies. That was my lame attempt at a joke, if you were wondering. Unfortunately, it's all so dark right now, nothing can make this burden seem any lighter. Luke. Who's fault, besides yours, is this? Mine?

Luke, you know better. We joked about the Gods, okay? Jokes. Nothing more. What makes you even begin to think the world will be better without them?

Titan's hated humans.

You knew that.

While Gods aren't the best (Sorry, guys), Titan's are worse. Way worse.

But I miss you. I miss you anyway. And I really hope that you will change. I really hope your future will be full of all kinds of great things. You did one last good deed in the end.

Honestly, though. That may have redeemed your soul in the underworld, and for everyone else, but for me... I don't know why, but I can't seem to forgive you. Or myself. I feel like I did this to you as much as you did it to yourself. I wish you had died when I pushed you of that cliff, but luck doesn't seem to exist in our world, now does it? Still... I keep thinking. If you had died broken upon the rocks, how many lives could you have saved? You sacrificed yourself.

That's what they say, your life made everything right. But did it?

Think about it. You died. War over. Yay. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE STILL ANGRY?

I didn't get to see you. In pain, and dying. I kind of wish I did. Maybe if I saw you in that kind of excruciating situation, it'd make it all better.

But I didn't, and you still caused hundreds of deaths. You even made Mr. D sad. You were the puppeteer, the source. You caused the death of his sons, and you killed so many people.

Lee Fletcher? Missing in action.

Beckendorf? Exploded into tiny little bits before the battle even _officially begun_.

See, I was at the war. People dropping dead left and right, it took all my strength not to lay down beside them and wait for darkness. I couldn't let you win.

So much blood.

And they forgave you, but I don't. Zoe said you'd betray me. She was right, and that is why I am a hunter now. I'll live forever and spread the story of your betrayal. And still, you're seen as a hero. I hope I can ruin that for you. One last act of vengeance.

Annabeth and Percy are happy together, now.

People are returning to camp.

Somehow, I can forgive the survived perpetrators, but not you. I can forgive Silena Beaurigard, beauty queen that she was, you killer her. You ruined her life.

With your sweet talk, and lopsided grins.

You're a monster.

Maybe, they all forgave you, but oh, man. Like I said before, I'll make sure generations after that remember you as... as a coward. You killed yourself too late.

I am so mad, so mad at you.

Yet... I still love you. And I miss you, because you were my family.

If only you were still alive, and changing the world for the better. My mind could allow itself to be less harsh.

Love,  
You know who I am.

PS: Hey. I'm.. I'm really glad you're doing the whole Isles of the Blest thing. If you can make it through two more lifetimes without mass murder and war, I think I can forgive you. Or maybe, I secretly already have.

Good luck, big boy.


End file.
